DAY 96: 1 MAY 08

Well May is here and with it brings violence. We lost an Airman the same rank as me this week. It was confirmed at today’s promotion ceremony as we had three people promoted in my office. There is also a ton of sh*t going down in Kabul and even word of issues here. I am trying like hell not to go off base anymore. I got the sports show tomorrow and look forward to that each week. We are cooking out this weekend as well so that should be some fun. I am going to bed late tonight so I will not see the Pens 4th game but I hope it’s another sweep. If not I should get to watch them this weekend and it would be nice to see Jagr lose in Pittsburgh as it may be his final game since he may retire. I talked to my Mom today and was glad to hear that she is fine. I was also mad to see her fire comments at my Dad and he fire back. You know they both tell me they do not love each other anymore. I think I now believe that. But what I also believe is that what they have is called a love vacuum. When you did love someone for so long, and were married to them when the relationship finally ends the love may be gone but a vacuum is created that requires attention in some fashion. For these too it’s done by in direct communication through myself, my sister, my grandparents, or even a message board comment area. I want to make a deal with both of you for the whole world to see. I will openly and lovingly accept both Darryl and Shelly as whatever they become to you two as time progresses. I will show only love and as much as possible forget the past and my very strong feelings concerning the situation. In return I ask that you two act like adults and move on, so some communication can be possible in case of emergencies, issues concerning Robin and Emma, and social functions that require both of you like some weddings coming up. It pisses me off that I am in Afghanistan and there is no collaboration or communication at basic levels to achieve very important tasks like helping Robin, taking care of Emma, and making sure I am informed. This nonsense has to stop so that we can all move on and enjoy life together! I am being straight up when I say this trip and excursion has changed me. Part of that change means loving my parents and those who they love no matter my personal views. But as I adhere to certain requests and ideas so too must those around me. Life is too short and money, possessions, property, and whatever else of this world have little value in the grand scheme of things. God, Family, country, friends, and our memories are what truly hold value. I need to shower and shave now as it is approaching 1 am here. Best part about hitting the showers this late is nobody in your way, tons of hot water, and peace and quiet! Mom and Dad I expect to see apologies on the comment areas and maybe even some sort of plan as to how we all can move forward in a positive manner. And one last thing Dad: you told me to think before I talk and even more before I type. So I have one question: Where in the Bible does Jesus directly curse people and have bad events come into their lives for ‘transgressions’? Dad I do not believe you thought before you typed instead let emotions dictate your response to Moms petty and futile jab. I know two things for sure 1. Jesus is all about love and letting us mess things up for ourselves(free will) not cursing us. 2. NO ONE is guaranteed tomorrow so I am careful in my judgment of events both good and bad for only God knows what tomorrow will bring. On that note here is a question for everyone to ponder. If as a typical Christian believes heaven is where Christ is building us a mansion for us and that it is a perfect world without sin and all of the common worries of this world then why should I feel sorry for that Airman who died this week? May be it is he who is feeling bad for me being stuck on earth still as he rejoices in heaven. I guess it’s all perspective since we do not know what’s on the other side for sure, so we are automatically sad when one dies; Normal, but for me I have thought more about death on this trip than at any other time in my life as my odds are greater here. Anyway I thank all of you for your support and love and if I die tomorrow then you may be sad but I probably won’t be! Now I will pray before bed for protection as I do very often and hope to live another wonderful day in paradise as compared to the other 90% of the people on the earth(like the local Afghans here for example) as my wonderful Dad always told me growing up. Good Night.

PS: Ok I am officially in rambling mode but this story I have got to tell. Today I was at dinner alone as I needed to break away from all of the folks I work with for just a little alone time. As I was eating I saw a local Afghan worker and a KBR employee who speaks the local language, get into an argument. I could tell the older guy who was dressed in traditional clothing was very upset while the KBR guy who was dressed in jeans and a shirt yelled at him and then told him to be quiet so we all could not hear. They were in the little lobby area where you dump your garbage before exiting the chow hall. The guys job is to empty trash bags and put new ones in. As the KBR worker tried to quiet him down I made eye contact with him. I could only stare into his eyes for a second or two because I saw such pain. I could cry right now. This poor man who probably has 4 kids, no education, and lives somewhere local empties trash for a living, my trash! He has seen war his whole life and empties garbage to support his family; maybe his best job ever. Mean while he has got to take crap from this worker who was probably wrong but is a supervisor. I wanted to go say something but they went outside and then I forgot. Plus in all seriousness it’s hard to communicate to them and the guy who would translate for me would not tell the local Afghan guy that I think he is wrong! I just wonder what this world is coming too? China’s military spending sky rocketed recently, gas prices are through the roof, mortgages are in the toilet, the economy is teetering on the brink, none of the presidential candidates will truly put us on the right track, and every day people live as poor as they do like around here. Yeah life can be good for me and you but for the average citizen on earth how good is it? Mom and Dad I love you and want you to know that. With Emma already around I am not sure I will have kids given this experience. Maybe adopting some is the best remedy or at least my contribution to the situation. I need to sleep now but boy am I sad right now not for me but for our world!