DAY 103: 8 MAY 08

Today started off great (sadistic sarcasm); fallen comrade ceremony including 3 coffins with American flags draped on them. As they roll by I salute and try not to get wrapped up in whole thought process. I then got a good omelet this morning and had a productive day at work. However the last two days have been interesting at work. Work in and of itself has been normal. I am on the air from 10:30 to 2:30 doing a radio music show. Before and after I have to produce and work on radio and TV stories and get ready for the show when not doing that. Pretty run of the mill stuff for me. Where the excitement comes in is that some of the guys are worried about my mentality, mindset, or heart when it comes to going off base. I told them I think it’s illogical to WANT to go off base; that would mean that one WANTS to put themselves in harm’s way. Now while I do not WANT to; I will and have. In the end the top guy as it relates to us came in and laid the law down. Everyone knows I am the most vocal about my fears but still willing to go do the job and get the story which is my job. I am just much more open about it. I feel good after 2 days of back and forth. My superiors know where I am coming from and know my willingness to complete the mission and my coworkers were explained my thought process. During the same conversation they told me I need to relax more and not be so loud at work. I agree with this and am trying to learn that in my life. Far too many times I rush the moment and miss out on it. I think if I take one thing away from this trip, that’s what it will be! Overall I think the guys are ok with me but ultimately, as I told the one supervisor, I come in, do my work, and only worry about my work whereas others are worried all about me. Anyway it’s just another life trial to live through and learn from. I got a bunch of mail today and was kind of pissed as it was 2 months behind. They bundled it up and sent it so some stuff was already overdue. Anyway Grama Joswiak sent me a picture of me, Sarah, and Ryan (my cousins) from December 1985! Boy was I little and do I feel old now. She also included one of me and Robin circa 1989 (Judging by the sweater I had on and how Robin and I looked). I am going to try to get a hold of Robin this weekend one way or another. Well my cousin Zach and buddy Josh from high school are getting married (to lovely women not each other!) and again I am away. I sent them both a wedding gift and got a great email back from Josh. I hope they have great weddings and even better marriages. Robin if you read this you better go to Zach’s wedding! Speaking of feeling old get this; I feel like my 87 year old uncle Al at night as I have to use lamisil to fight athlete’s foot (you wear combat boots everyday and see what it is like) and ear drops as I got wax stuck to my left ear drum. At night I think about seeing my Uncle Al putting on all this stuff and at 25 I am joining him! Actually they are both just temporary uses as being near jets is not good for ones ears so I got to get rid of the wax and I cannot help the foot situation as it is common in the military. This weekend is a big one. It’s my love Michelle’s 24th birthday, Mother’s Day, and my best friend Kurt, at the young age of 28, is finally moving out of his parents house! I think Michelle is settling into her 20s quite nice now and will have a great weekend with her Mother and Grandmas. I like the fact that she is 2 years younger than me as we can still wait for her to join the club that is celebrated this weekend. I wish I were home to celebrate all of that and help Kurt move but yet again my choice, some call it a sacrifice, keeps me away. I would like to help Kurt as he helped me move out of Carrick in 2005 but what can I do. Well I guess that’s about it for now. I got the sports show tomorrow and then the weekend. I am going to try to get out on base this weekend and shoot some video and produce some much needed stuff that we need for our newscast. I may anchor again next week so we shall see. Everyone have a great day and as always thank you for all of the prayers and thoughts.